All In On D.C. Sports

TSR Volume 4: Egotistical Armageddon, the Secret Service and Goodell’s Iron Fist

-- Courtesy of StarPulse --

It’s not as if I expect to have some cult-like following for my latest column of the site, but I’ll apologize anyway for the extended break away from The Shame Report.

Every April — in addition to thanking my mother for giving birth to me — I anticipate and prepare for the NFL Draft.

Starting around August of every year, I start to scout college football players. Somewhere around the end of September, I begin to produce mock drafts — knowing damn well that’s it’s way too early for that kind of stuff. And once the NFL season comes to a close in February, it’s tons and tons of college game tape until the week of the draft.

At any rate, I’m not making excuses. I’m one of those weirdo draft nerds and I get caught up in it. While doing so, I seem to have missed a lot of shameful and report-worthy stuff. Thanks for reading.

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There are some that believe in the Mayan calendar, while others claim to have seen aliens or robots. Some think the world will fall under the storm of a meteor shower, and others will argue the guarantee of an eventual Holy War.

Personally, I think the world comes to an end in a matter of weeks.

With the newest relationship going on between hip-hop hiccup Kanye West and the very untalented Kim Kardashian, it’s only a matter of time before the planet and its people fall victim to a global explosion brought on solely by too much ego.

On one side, you have the very rude and disrespectful West — extremely talented in the world of music, but unfortunately attempting his hand at everything else.

On the other side, you have Kardashian — a celebrity starlet that would be absolutely nothing if it weren’t for O.J. Simpson and Ray-J. (Could there be two worse names to base your success and fame on? Seriously.) 

Forget the point that I’m trying to make. In all honesty, I don’t know what I’m trying to say either. Just recognize that the relationship between these two egotistical maniacs is not good for America. Or the world.

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Although I wouldn’t expect anyone outside of the sport world/blogosphere to recognize the name ‘Sarah Phillips’, I also wouldn’t be surprised if people within that world had heard the name and still had no idea what it meant or who it was.

Seeing as how Deadspin does a fantastic job of breaking down exactly what’s going on with Phillips and the possibility that ESPN hired a freelance scam artist, I won’t even begin to waste your time here. I will encourage you to read that article, though.

It doesn’t mean a whole lot. It’s nothing more than an entertainment piece. But somewhere out there, there’s a basement-dwelling wannabe movie producer chomping at the bit and proclaiming, “…this is it.”

At the very least, the ‘Sarah Phillips Scandal’ created an array of Twitter attention that was nothing shy of hilarious. Huffington Post was kind enough to provide a slideshow of the top-30 response tweets. Enjoy.

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The nation’s Secret Service division sure is getting all the attention, huh?

Head down to Colombia, have a few drinks and attempt to buy a few rounds of sex and suddenly you’re the antichrist.

It’s not that I agree with or support the fact that one of our nation’s top security teams was running around with prostitutes. It’s the fact that the media and select Americans are blowing it up so much.

In case you didn’t know, let me be the first to tell you that this specific incident isn’t the Secret Service’s first rodeo when it comes to foreign escorts. It’s just the first time the Secret Service has been caught.

In the world of politics – which includes lying, cheating and stealing — does this thing really matter in terms of national security? It wasn’t that long ago that the President of the United States was receiving fellatio right in the Oval Office of the White House. And that guy turned out to be one of the most beloved Presidents of our time.

Don’t get me wrong, adultery is stupid and families are destroyed from it, but that’s a personal issue for those involved, not the media. And if the men who were attempting to buy sex or lap dances or whatever weren’t effectively doing their job, then of course they deserve to be dismissed from the department.

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With ‘Bounty Gate’ still hanging around the National Football League, and commissioner Roger Goodell continuing to pull off his best impression of Joseph Stalin, unnecessary penalties and/or fines on all players involved were bound to happen.

On Monday, the NFL announced that four players would be suspended — most notably Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma for the entire 2012 season and without pay.

Assuming that Goodell goes back and watches Vilma’s games, how in the hell does the dictator gauge or measure a tackler’s intent?

Imagine Goodell watching a replay of the Saints/Vikings game and Vilma lays out a massive hit — as most linebackers try to do every snap. And because the hit looked ‘gnarly’, Goodell uses his magical powers to reveal that Vilma did in fact possess malicious intent at the time of the tackle and that he had nothing more on his mind than inflicting harm on the opposition.

Say what?

At the end of the day, it’s Vilma’s word against Goodell’s. If you ask Goodell, he’ll say Vilma was a heat-seeking missle with bad intentions. If you ask Vilma, he’ll say he was making a tackle and playing his aggressive style of football. Who in the hell decides what’s going on inside the head of another man?

The tyrant with the iron fist strikes again.

 

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