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TSR Volume 5: Cole Hamels Is Stupid, Retain Love for Joel and Peterson Could Be a Cheater

-- Joel Ward, Washington Capitals --

Cole Hamels is an idiot. Alert the media.

Following Sunday night’s game in which Philadelphia pitcher Cole Hamels nailed Washington rookie Bryce Harper in the lower back, the one-time World Series MVP displayed very little intelligence in his attempted supporting argument for the move.

“I was trying to hit him,” Hamels said. “I’m not going to deny it. I’m not trying to injure the guy. They’re probably not going to like me for it, but I’m not going to say I wasn’t trying to do it. I think they understood the message, and they threw it right back. That’s the way, and I respect it.” (via Chicago Sun Times)

Continuing on with baseless objective, Hamels portrays his scewed interpretation of America’s Greatest Pastime.

“That’s something I grew up watching, that’s kind of what happened. So I’m just trying to continue the old baseball because I think some people are kind of getting away from it,” Hamels said. “I remember when I was a rookie the strike zone was really, really small and you didn’t say anything because that’s the way baseball is. But I think unfortunately the league’s protecting certain players and making it not that old-school, prestigious way of baseball.”

Someone tell Cole Hamels that baseball is baseball. If you really want to act like a hard ass, charge the frickin’ plate with flailing arms and punch the batter in the face while feeding a roadhouse kick to the homeplate umpire’s mandible.

Hamels was ultimately suspended for a meaningless five games, in addition to receiving the threatening wrath of Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo.

“Cole Hamels says he’s old school? He’s the polar opposite of old school. He’s fake tough,” Rizzo told the Washington Post. “He thinks he’s going to intimidate us after hitting our 19-year-old rookie who’s eight games into the big leagues? He doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.”


Back in December, Washington D.C. native Lamont Peterson shocked the world when he defeated reigning champion Amir Khan for control of the WPF super lightweight and IBF junior welterweight championship belts.

Despite a questionable panel of judging, you won’t hear anything out of me when it involves a hometown athlete making national media headlines. Peterson went the distance, handled his own and even knocked Khan around a bit.

Nonetheless, just two weeks away from his scheduled rematch with Khan at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, Lamont Peterson has reportedly failed a drug test. The drug in question is synthetic testosterone.

If the gaming commission deems these test results accurate, Peterson’s title defense goes into immediate question, as does the integrity of the first bout.

According to the Washington Post, Peterson had requested the testing himself — actually calling for Olympic-style testing with the inclusion of blood samples rather than the typical urine-based testing.

Although it may be in large part because of my hometown bias, I can’t imagine Peterson ingesting a questionable substance to get ready for a fight. Not only has his name never been thrown around with the likes of banned substances before, but Peterson was the guy that demanded the more intensive and legitimate testing in the first place.


Don’t get down on Capitals winger Joel Ward.

Although his high sticking double-minor with less than 30 seconds to go in Game 5 against the Rangers was enough to form excuses and blame, Washington fans should remember that it was Ward’s overtime game-winner in Game 7 against the Bruins last round that even has the Capitals currently in contention.

Let’s also not forget, that even if he isn’t taking shots on goal, Joel Ward is playing very good hockey in the 2012 NHL playoffs.

If you want to love his goal last round, then you can’t hate his Game 5 mishap. And if you hate his gift to the Rangers in Game 5, don’t love last round’s overtime goal so much.


As a big supporter of Albert Pujols, it’s really tough to say. But, man, Fat Albert still sucks.

Not in general, of course. From a professional career standpoint, Pujols is a lock for Cooperstown. But in terms of April 2012, I don’t think Pujols could have started any worse than what he has with his new Los Angeles Angels team.

Through 117 at-bats this season, the three-time National League MVP is hitting just .197 with a total of 23 hits.

Until just last week (May 6), Pujols didn’t have a single homerun. He’s still at one on the year. That doesn’t bode well for a six-time Silver Slugger Award winner.

I don’t doubt that Pujols will eventually remove himself from his current funk, but I pray to Babe and Lou that they can help Albert get out of it sooner rather than later.


The Author


Ringmaster at Bet Big DC, Shae is a devout food enthusiast who soaks in the misery of yelling at the TV from the couch. He takes pride in schrewd sports investing, is a sucker for the arts and is brimming with useless pop culture knowledge. When he’s not drudging away behind his outdated laptop, Shae enjoys eating, traveling and rooting for teams that usually don’t win

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