“Calling all cars, calling all cars. Shots fired. It’s Kobe Bryant shooting lasers at his teammates.”
Don’t worry, though. It’s just his former teammates.
As much as we’d like to blame Bryant’s most recent comments on the fact that men get grumpy as they get older, 34-year-old Kobe has been doing this for years.
Surprisingly, none of the Black Mamba’s comments have been quite as comical as the stuff we heard before a Lakers exhibition game on Wednesday night when Bryant spoke with Janis Carr of the OC Register.
“I almost won an MVP with Smush Parker and Kwame Brown on my team,” Bryant said before Wednesday’s 93-75 exhibition loss to Portland. “I was shooting 45 times a game. What was I supposed to do? Pass it to Chris Mihm or Kwame Brown?”
Bryant was referring to 2005-06 when the Lakers’ roster included Brian Cook, Stanislav Medvedenko, Devean George and Parker, Mihm and Brown.
Bryant continued, taking aim at his favorite whipping boy, Parker, calling him “the worst. He shouldn’t have been in the NBA but we were too cheap to pay for a point guard. So we let him walk on.”
Does Bryant have a point? Absolutely. He averaged a career-best 35.4 points per game in that 2005-2006 season and the Lakers only mustered 45 wins before being bounced in the first round of the playoffs.
And while I don’t like sticking up for Kobe, it was Smush Parker that took shots at Bryant first — calling it an overrated experience to play alongside Kobe and admitting to beef between the two.
Smush done brought this on himself.
As for guys like Chris Mihm, Medvedenko and Devean George, the Lakers were just looking for bodies to fill the roster. What they soon realized was that even a player like Kobe Bryant needs a hint of reliable production alongside him.
During that particular season, it was Bryant and Lamar Odom versus the world.
And what more can anyone say about Kwame Brown? As a Washington Wizards homer, Brown remains one of the most mysterious players in the NBA simply because he still has a job. The Lakers acquired him because they thought he and Laron Profit in exchange for Caron Butler was a prosperous deal for the franchise.