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TSR Volume 11: Death to Twinkies, Deion Pulls Race Card, and Ernie Grunfeld’s Presence Still Felt in Washington

…scrumptious

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.

But what about Twinkies? Doesn’t some saying somewhere also mention that the only two things to survive an unfortunate meltdown of the planet are roaches and Twinkies?

Remember stocking your Y2K bunkers? Plenty of water, check. Canned goods, check. And we got them Twinkies!

Urban legend or not, experimenting with a Twinkie’s shelf life will forcefully come to an end.

According to reports, Hostess Brands Inc. has gone bankrupt and is liquidating its assets following some union mumbo-jumbo. If you want more details on the actual shutdown, you can check out this article from the Chicago Tribune. The only facts you really need to know is that Hostess is going down and Twinkies really can go extinct.

Although a sad ending to a great American pastime (for fatties), it wouldn’t be fair to simply give up on classic snacks. With Twinkie fading off into the sunset of financial burden, we as fat snackers must work collectively to find the next American classic. Not necessarily a spongy vanilla cake injected with sugar cream and diabetes, but instead a new go-to snack with enough chemicals to embalm a human body.

With or without the chemicals really.

***

Courtesy of Getty Images

You either love him or you hate him. But when it comes to Primetime, I’m typically a big fan of Deion Sanders.

I use the word typically because his latest interview comments on a Dallas-Ft. Worth radio show have me thinking whether or not Primetime is actually in prime mental shape.

The background goes something like, Sanders co-founded a charter school in Texas called the Prime Prep Academy. Naturally, the school offers football and basketball and probably puts together some pretty decent teams. Recently, however, there have been allegations that Prime Prep Academy was engaging in illegal recruiting tactics to bring certain athletes to the school and onto the teams.

Attacking a local high school sports reporter (rumored to be a gentleman named Brett Shipp), Sanders pulled the race card and went after the “guy we all know about” pretty hard.

“First of all, this all started mainly by a Caucasian reporter from a news station, Channel 8, you know who I’m talking about, and he seems like he’s the African American killer,” Sanders told Dallas radio station KRLD. “It’s always something against a brother. And that bothers me. I’ve never been accused of cheating with anything, in any sports, in any arena, in my life. Now to be accused of something as stupid and as simplistic as this and all I have is 30 kids out there. And the sad thing about it, Channel 8 and Dallas Morning News, they’re partners.”

Not that I know who Brett Shipp is or how he operates, but blasting a guy the way Sanders did on live air waves doesn’t help matters one way or the other.

***

Courtesy of Dan Steinberg

Don’t look now, but the Washington Wizards are winless. In fact, it may be in your best interest to never look all season. The Wizards aren’t just 0-7 by way of a few bad bounces and some dumb luck. No, ladies and gentlemen, the Wizards are flat out ugly right now.

For those that want to make excuses for the Wizards, there’s really only one. And even if the Wizards did have starters Nene and John Wall in their lineup, I’m still not sure how I’d avoid writing depressing material about the team.

Nene has a foot that could very well keep him out for the entire season — imagine your foot made of Jello and duct tape. John Wall, on the other hand, may be closer to hitting the hardwood again, but having confidence in him as a savior seems a bit drastic.

While injuries to starters hurt a team’s chance at success, there’s also the on-court product that’s lacking. Want to know the best way to attack a closeout? Don’t watch the Wizards. Want to learn how to knockdown open looks? Don’t watch the Wizards. Want to see Trevor Ariza play like he enjoys his job, his paycheck, and the city he’s in? Definitely don’t watch the Wizards.

The real problems, however, trickle down from the top. Although Ted Leonsis is a loyal owner with good intentions, retaining general manager Ernie Grunfeld and expecting anything more than below-average talent acquisition and front office operation is absurd. And, as a result, us Wizards fans are given the many faces of head coach Randy Wittman — who really has no idea what’s going on in Washington.

I’m passionate about the Wizards. I yearn for them to do well. I want more than Gilbert Arenas and a first-round bounce. I want real professional basketball in Washington more than anyone else. But in order to have those things, moves need to be made from the top.

 

The Author

Shae

Ringmaster at Bet Big DC, Shae is a devout food enthusiast who soaks in the misery of yelling at the TV from the couch. He takes pride in schrewd sports investing, is a sucker for the arts and is brimming with useless pop culture knowledge. When he’s not drudging away behind his outdated laptop, Shae enjoys eating, traveling and rooting for teams that usually don’t win

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